Ghosts Of The Inescapable Past

Nerva opened his eyes weakly. His head felt like it was going to cleave apart, and the creature inside him was going haywire again. He was submerged in water. Bubbles emanated from the corners of his lips. But strangely, he breathed normally. He held up his hands and touched the glass panes of his watery prison. His vision was still blurred. His chest wanted to explode. A trickle of blood escaped from his lips and dispersed into the water like a ghastly red snake.

He had never felt so weak before. All of his energy was pouring out of his body and into the water that surrounded him. Then he realized it was no ordinary water. It was liquefied Mana. Liquefied Mana obtained from the Well of Asgard. No wonder he was feeling weak. Any magical creature, once submerged in liquefied Mana, was deprived of his magical powers.

Nerva strained to see beyond his tank. He could see working tables, bookshelves and books. He could also make out the fuzzy outlines of funnels and flasks on the tables, all simmering with some unknown magical potion. Where the hell was he?

The sound of an opening door alerted his ears. Nerva turned to his right and opened his mouth, where a large bubble popped out instead of the word, "You!".

 Lothair grinned broadly as he surveyed his greatest rival inside the tank, now completely in the palm of his hands. He pointed to himself.

"Me." He sneered.  "Oh, evil me."

Nerva started to pound the glass, cursing. But bubbles that took their place in his mouth drowned the words out. Lothair laughed like a little boy surveying his new toy. A new toy he was going to destroy eventually and enjoy doing it.

"I know you are wondering why you are here, my brightest apprentice." Lothair sneered further, surveying Nerva as he struggled in the tank and against the Manas power.  "I brought you hereor rather, I had people bring you here."

Nerva remembered the Assassin who sneaked upon him back in Al de Baran.

"You know, Nerva, bright as you are, like everyone else you have an inescapable past." Lothair went on as he paced, his Arc Wand making odd sounds as it collided with the cold stone floor of his lab.  "And, as you undoubtedly know, there are many ways a man can be destroyed, without any physical weapons used."

Nerva froze. What did Lothair mean? What was he going to do to him?

"But, Nerva, before I do that, I want to have fun first." Lothair smiled evilly.  "Its your judgement day, you hooligan, and you shall regret you ever came to our soil and donned that Eyes Robe."

"F*** you!" Nerva shrieked, only to have his voice killed by bubbles once more. Lothair laughed.

The High Elder continued his pacing, tapping a gnarled index finger on his wrinkled chin. His eyes were staring up at the ceiling. Nerva started to pound the glass panes of the tank to no avail. A single blast of Napalm Beat could destroy these panes, but with the liquefied Mana bathing him it was impossible to utilize even the tiniest drop of magic in the back of his head. He was completely defenseless.

Lothair stopped. He turned and faced Nerva as if he just realized the young man was there. His smile got crazier. He raised his arm, the orb of his Arc Wand gleaming ominously under the torches glare.

"LIGHTNING BOLT!"

A violent bolt of lightning materialized out of thin air and zapped the tank, the blue sparks of electricity crawling both in the liquid and the metal frames. Bubbles frothed crazily as Nerva twisted and writhed like mad, screaming but not really hearing his voice. Electricity surged through his body in torrents, destroying and burning, white-hot pain stabbing him outside and inside. The Mana flooded through his lungs, making breathing hard. He convulsed and twisted, his eyes rolling into his head.

Lothair was laughing with glee as he surveyed the gruesome scene, every fiber of him alive with boiling pride and hate. He had the famous Nerva alThor in his hands now, and he will do anything he can think of, and when he was finished, Nerva was good as dead. He would make this Izludian intruder dearly wish he had never been born.

"YES, NERVA, YES!" Lothair cackled.  "THIS IS WHAT I WANT OF YOU! I WANT YOU TO SUFFER! I WANT YOU TO FEEL PAIN! I WANT YOU TO DIE!"

The panes of the tank shattered, the liquefied Mana and Nerva came crashing to the floor. Sparks of electricity were still active, and Nerva was giving involuntary twitches every now and then.  Lothair guffawed further and raised his Arc Wand.

"FIREBALL!"

Nervas scream of pain rang shrilly in the whole laboratory, mingled together with the High Elders laughs. If only the people outside would hear

"DO YOU LIKE IT, HUH?" Lothair screamed.  "DO YOU LIKE THE PAIN?"

The fire vanished. Nerva was lying on his stomach on the floor, his eyes clouded over. He felt so numb; so dead. The creature in him was fully alive, and the pain outside combined to be a strong numbing agent. He was so tired, so sick of it all. He just wanted itto end

"Please" Nerva whispered.

Lothair stopped and threw him a dirty look.  "What? What did you say?"

"Pleaselet me die" Nerva continued weakly.  "Kill mestab me with a swordI dont want tofeel painany longer"

Lothair bounced on his heels and wagged a finger.  "Oh-hooh! I cannot have that yet, Nerva! Your brilliant mind is still alive!"

Nerva reached out and grabbed Lothairs cloak.  "Pleasekill me"

Lothair pulled his cloak out of the way.  "Dont touch me you dirty Izludian! How you earned the right only pure Geffenese can achieve I can never know, but I shall take everything youve taken! Ill kill you slowly, do you know that? Ill kill you in such a way that any weapon here in Midgard cannot match the sacrilege done to you when Im through!"

The High Elder moved and made Nerva face him completely.

"You know, you bastard," he went on.  "You should have remained in your fathers filthy city-state and became a Swordsman instead. You would have made a fine Knightand you never would have interfered with my glory. We didnt have to go this far if only you hadnt been so stupid."

"Whyme?" Nerva spoke, each word spoken after the other causing too much effort.  "IonlyfollowedmydreamIneverwantedtobefamous"

Lothair slapped him so hard his nose bled.

"SHUT UP, YOU FAT LITTLE LIAR!" Lothair spat, raising his hand and slapping Nerva yet again.  "YOU THINK YOU CAN FOOL ME? IM NOT STUPID, YOU IDIOT! I BET FAME GOT THROUGH THAT ALREADY INFLATED HEAD OF YOURS, DIDNT IT?"

"Youremad" Nerva moaned.  "Mad"

The High Elders face hardened. He stood up and raised his wand.  "LIGHTNING BOLT!"

Screams arose once more. Lothair laughed louder and louder, every single bit of him enjoying the gruesome sight before his eyes. He increased his Lightning Bolts ferocity, waving his Arc Wand like a mad conductor of a dark orchestra. Nerva was fast detaching from his body, pain increasing the gap between his sanity and insanity. He had to fight, but the pain was just too great. He felt like he was on fire.

And then everything stopped. Nerva was lying stiff on the floor, his eyes glassy and unseeing even though they were wide open. His body was screaming it had enough. One part of him wanted to give up, but the other wanted to stand and fight.

"You want me to stop the pain now, Nerva?" Lothair asked in a mock sad voice.  "Then beg for me to stop. Beg, Nerva, beg! I have never seen you beg before. Beg!"

"Never" Nerva mouthed the words.  "NeverIdratherdieinpainnever"

Lothairs eyes blazed. He gathered all his strenght and kicked Nerva with all that he could muster. The younger Wizard recoiled on the floor, clutching his abdomen.

"I HATE YOUR STUBBORNNESS! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO HEAD-STRONG?" Lothair yelled furiously.

Nerva could only flash his sarcastic smile. "Damnyouoldwretch"

Lothair stopped dead, eyes surveying Nervas defiant face.  "So you want me to do it now, dont you? You want me to finish it now, dont you?"

"I dont care." Nerva moaned.  "Damn you."

He gathered all of his saliva and spat it out just as Lothair bent over him. It hit the elder in the face. Nerva laughed coldly.

"You deservethat." He said painfully.  "Youfoulimpyoudolt"

"I CURSE YOU!"

Nervas eyes widened as Lothair grabbed him by the forehead with one strong grip. In a flash the High Elder was standing straight, and he was kneeling infront, his head grasped by gnarled hands. Lothairs grip went tighter and tighter, the pressure increasing. Nerva raised his hands and tried to remove the old mans hand. But in this he failed.

"Ngh" Nerva sputtered as he struggled to remove the hand clutching his head in a hurtful deathgrip.  "Nghakkkk"

"Im going to give it to you now, Nerva." Lothair sneered.  "Im going to give you something worse than Death itself. And I swear by The Eye, youre dead. Im giving you my love, dear apprentice. Have fun."

Nerva went stiff as a board as consciousness left him completely. He fell back down on the floor, his eyes now pure white orbs in their sockets.

Nervas eyes snapped open. He bolted upright, looking wildly around. He was no longer in the stone laboratory of his old mentor, Lothair. He was in the middle of a courtyard. He stood up and saw massive stone walls all around him. A formidable castle was standing not far, looming out with all its glory. From beyond the walls he could hear the sea. He knew this place.

He turned around and faced the castle. Huge banners covered the bare stone walls, all of them bearing the crest of the House of Thor: Argent, Vert, Anvyld, Hammer and Sable. It couldnt be. He was standing in his fathers courtyard.

A sound caught his ears. It was the voice of an eleven-year-old boy. Nerva walked toward the Training Room, the only place he could think of. The door was left ajar. Noiselessly, he went inside and gave a gasp.

"MAGNUM BREAK!"

The dummies surrounding the boy all exploded into bits of twig and hay. Nerva knew the boy. The boy who had vivid red hair and the yellow eyes of a hawk. It was Nerva himself.

"It cant be" Nerva whispered with disbelief.

The boy dropped to his knees, leaning heavily on his tsurugi to keep himself balanced. There were tears rimming the yellow eyes. The boy sobbed and wiped it away, forcing himself to stand. He raised the sword high.

"MAGNUM BREAK!"

What remained of the dummies was obliterated into ashes. Nerva watched as his former self broke down completely, sobbing and trembling.

"I cant be what I dont want to be" Eleven-year-old Nerva cried.  "I dont want to be ordinaryI want to become a Magicianoh God, help me"

Just then, the great gilded doors flew open. A splendid woman in her most expensive jewels and silks glided into the room, beauty on her oval face. She stopped dead at the sight of her son crying. She was quickly at his side, her fragrant arms around him.

"Why do you cry, my love?" she asked, her voice low and sweet.  "Nerva, my darling, what is it? Tell mother, son. Tell mother what is wrong."

Nerva knew what was coming. His heart beat wildly. His dread increased.

"Mother" the child answered.  "Mother, I dont"

"Ah, my Lady and my Son are here!"

Nerva looked up to see his father come in. Sir Tiberius was still young, his face smooth and beard-free. He was wearing his armor, with the emblem of the House of Thor on his breastplate. Lady Cornelia stood and went into her husbands arms. Nerva swallowed and looked at his younger self, who remained sitting on the floor, looking at his father with unspeakable fear.

"What is wrong with you child?" Sir Tiberius asked, bending to kiss Nervas forehead.  "Why fear your father? Cornelia?" he turned to his wife.

"I do not know." She replied.  "I think he has a fever"

Young Nerva stood up.  "Father, listen to me."

"Dont say it!" Nerva shrieked.  "Dont! Hell hurt you!"

"Father, I dont want to be a Swordsman."

A ringing silence echoed in the room. Nerva felt color drain from his face.

"Nerva" Sir Tiberius whispered, his lance dropping to the floor.  "What?"

"I DONT WANT TO BE A SWORDSMAN! I WANT TO BE A MAGE! I CANT CONTINUE LIVING LIKE THIS! I WANT TO BE WHAT I WANT TO BE!" Young Nerva shouted.

Nerva stepped back.  "Hes going to get it!"

He covered his ears and shut his eyes as Sir Tiberius hit the boy. No matter how hard he tried, he could still hear his pained screams, cries and protests. His fathers booming voice sounded like a gong. He couldnt stand it.

"STOP IT!" Nerva yelled.  "STOP IT, PLEASE! DONT HURT HIM! DONT HURT ME!"

But he couldnt do anything. It was an awful prospect, standing there and watching as his father hit his younger self again and again. He could see himself crying piteously, pleading. The boy only wanted to realize his dream. But the father was enraged, maddened with his familys tradition. The boy was bleeding profusely, but the father would not stop. Guilty conscience gnawed Nervas mind.

"STOP IT!" he screamed, covering his ears.  "STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT!"

And then everything dissolved. Nerva found himself floating in infinite blackness, tottering further into insanity.

"Its not my fault" He kept speaking to himself.  "It wasnt my faultstop itstop it"

The blackness dissolved once more. He found himself standing atop a grassy hill overlooking the whole of Izlude. His younger self was there, this time accompanied by his brothers. Lochinvar was sobbing to himself while carrying the baby Claudius in his arms. Alexander was holding on to Lochinvars shirt, looking up at their brother.

"Do you really have to go?" Lochinvar asked between sobs.

Nerva still had the injuries inflicted by their father. His right arm was in a sling, and half of his face was covered with bandages.  "I cant stay here anymore, Lochinvar. Take care of them, okay?"

"But who will make me a kite?" Alexander asked as he wiped his eyes.

Nerva straightened, fighting back tears.  "Good-bye. Youll never see me again."

He turned and ran down the hill. Nerva the Wizard stood stock-still, appalled. Alexander walked up to him, crying. He blinked and looked at the child.

"W-what is it?" he asked.

"Its your fault." Alexander replied.  "Its your fault."

Nerva found himself retreating.  "No! I never!"

"I HATE YOU! IT'S YOUR FAULT MY BROTHER HAD TO LEAVE! ITS YOUR FAULT! ITS YOUR FAULT!" Alexander shrieked.

Nerva fell back.  "Its not! I didnt!"

"I HATE YOU!" Alexander howled.

The child howled louder and ran toward him, a dagger in his little hands. Nerva was rooted to the spot. He felt the dagger stab into his right arm, tearing through skin and flesh, making red blood flow. He fell on his back, shielding his face with his arm.

"Stop, Alexander!" Nerva wailed.  "I didnt want to leave you! I didnt want any of it! I didnt! Believe me!"

"I HATE YOU!" Alexander shouted.

Alexander raised the dagger high and made to stab it right into Nervas heart. Nerva shouted, but even before the dagger could finish him, everything dissolved yet again. He was falling once more.

"I didnt do anything" Nerva sobbed as he fell deeper and deeper.  "I didntI didntI didnt"

He reached up and covered his ears, his eyes shut. He wanted everything to stop. His mind couldnt bear it any longer. Guilt weighed heavily in his head and in his chest. Emotions were running high, thoughts buzzing like angry bees in his fevered mind.

Stop it, please, no more.

Stop it, please, no more.

Stop it, please, no more.

Stop it, please, no more.

Stop it, please, no more.

Stop

Stop

Stop

Stop

Back in the real world, Lothair the High Elder was dancing with joy.

Nerva alThors body had enough. Soon his mind would.

And then hed die, neat as a pin.