"Papa!"

My little red-haired angel runs toward me as I get off my Peco-peco. I sweep him in my arms and kiss his rosy cheeks.

"Did you miss me?" I asked.

Little Nerva nodded and hugged me. He was a brave child, he never feared me even though I had my plumed war helmet on.

His mother, my beloved Cornelia, approaches. I smile at her.

"He had been whining about his kite while you were gone." She told me. "I think you had better keep his promise, or Nerva will go about banging his head against pots again."

I laughed.

We went inside the castle, our home, situated on Izlude's highest cliff and overlooking the vast and beautiful sea. I placed Nerva down, and he scuttled beside me as Cornelia led me to the dining room.

"Papa, when can I become a Knight like you?" he asked.

I smiled. It was our house's tradition to provide Midgard of her warriors. I was glad my son was wanting to be a knight just like his father.

"Soon, my darling one." I said. "You are still too young to begin training with a sword."

Nerva pouted. "I am not a kid anymore! You're only taller!"

"Hush, my son." I picked him up. "We shall dine first, and then you can fire away."



-tbc-

My son, Nerva, displayed inconceivable intelligence ever since he was young. No he is a young boy of eight years old, one year in training in the years of the sword. In just that year he mastered the Health Recovery skill, the Bash and the Magnum Break. His mentors, Knights from my guild, were impressed beyond reasonable doubt.

"Before he reaches eighteen he'll be a Knight!"

My heart soared at these comments. Even though I was home in Izlude only seldomly, my thoughts were upon my child, my pride and my heir. By now he has a little brother named Lochinvar.

His mother wrote to me about his progresses. Her letters contained awe, disbelief and even fear.

"Our son sometimes frightens me, because he behaves like an immortal, master to all crafts and wise in all things. To-day he has begun learning Endure. Your Knights are in awe."


When I went home I just had to see for myself. At that time Nerva was training with my Knights as his mother watched while nursing his brother. I watched secretly from the door.

It was true. Nerva, so young, could perform techniques of a Swordsman. Although the years would surely sharpen his skills and mastery, I could not help but be impressed. But my son somehow sensed my presence, and at once he let go of his Slayer and ran toward me.

"Papa! You're home! Where's my kite?"

I swept him in my arms. "I am proud of you, little angel. How far did you progress today?"

Cornelia came up to me and kissed me. "He is still learning----at a remarkable pace."


"Papa, I learn fast because I want to be a Knight already!" Nerva whined. "I want to ride beside you and weild a lance too!"

"There will be a time for that, my son. There will be a time for that." I smiled as I set him back down. I turned to my family. "I have a surprise for you."

Cornelia and Nerva brightened up immediately.

"We are going to Geffen, city of Magic!"

Little did I know, that taking my son to that place would soon rob me of him completely.


-tbc-

We have reached Geffen after two week's hard journey across the treacherous mountains of Mjoinir. I have never liked Geffen and its arrogant, spineless citizens, but I was here because all the rulers of the city-states of Midgard are required to come.

Tristriam, along with his other vassals, have arrived a day earlier than us. They have been given lodgings at the Arcane Tower by Lothair, High Elder and doge of Geffen.

Cornelia immediately took to her shopping, enjoying her purchases of rare and expensive Geffenese rugs and china, and silks and shawls as well. Nerva, my little angel, would like to go to somewhere with books, for these are his favorite things.

I find my son's interest in books odd, for it is highly unusual for a Swordsman or a Knight to have a taste in suchssals, have arrived a day earlier than us. They have been given lodgings at the Arcane Tower by Lothair, High Elder and doge of Geffen.

Cornelia immediately took to her shopping, enjoying her purchases of rare and expensive Geffenese rugs and china, and silks and shawls as well. Nerva, my little angel, would like to go to somewhere with books, for these are his favorite things.

I find my son's interest in books odd, for it is highly unusual for a Swordsman or a Knight to have a taste in such. We can always go for the literary ones, but what my Nerva reads are pure stuff of knowledge. Already at his mother's information I have come to know that he has already devoured half of our family's library, and it contains 120,000 books.


I assured Nerva that we would buy him new books. But that alone didn't seem to satisfy him. I told him to stay close to me, since his mother was away doing her shopping. His hand remained in mine.

My son was simply taken aback by the Geffenese spectre. On the streets Magicians and Wizards were performing magical tricks, from conjuring wild fireballs to making wind circulate violently around a chosen spot. And they enjoy it. They look at us, we Knights, then laugh their heads off as they conjure another fireball or waterball.

The Geffenese have always been proud and arrogant berks, by any Izludian's standard. Just so because they have the gift of Magic from the Goddess Frigga that they consider themselves above us. If we Knights hated one job class or another, it has got to be those which come from this place.

I shudder to think. Geffenese are bright----exceptionally bright in fact, that nowhere else can match their intellect. Perhaps the only city-state to match it with advances is Al de Baran, home of those machines and metals.

We have arrived before the Arcane Tower without much ado. Lothair was there with his students to welcome us. He said Tristriam was already conducting the assembly, and was expecting me and the duchess of Glast Heim to join them shortly.

I was just about to enter the tower when I felt that Nerva's hand was already gone. I stopped and blinked as I made to step forward. I turned around, my eyes wide. Only the faces of my Knights looked back at me with alarm.

My son was not there.

-tbc-

"Nerva?" I whispered, looking wildly around. My voice got louder. "NERVA!!!"

I pushed my knights away and dashed from the tower, panic seizing me as I screamed my son's name.

"NERVA! NERVA!"

Then everyone knew what was afoot. Lothair whispered urgent orders to his students, some of whom joined me in the frantic search. Some of them went to inform Tristriam about the matter.

I dashed toward the marketplace, where Cornelia was looking at some pretty jewels. I grabbed my wife's shoulders, causing her to drop the necklaces she was examining.

"Cornelia, Nerva is missing!" I gasped.

Cornelia, being a Knight herself, quickly nodded and went looking for our child. She quickly forgot about her trinkets and left them on the street as she ran. I checked every street I could imagine, I burst into every pub and inn and bookstore, but Nerva was nowhere to be found.

I was panicking. Hours passed, and when we met up again at the arcane tower, this time with Tristriam around, no news still.

"FIND MY SON!" I screamed hysterically. "FIND HIM!"

We dispersed around the city again. The search continued far into the night. I did not want to sleep, although I bade Cornelia rest herself. My wife was in tears. I could not bear it.

Where are you, my son? Where are you?!?

Finally, tired and cold, I sat down on the steps of the mystical Magic Academy, my face buried in my hands. I couldn't find my child anywhere. The whole city has been alerted under Lothair's orders, but still, no sight on my precious boy.

I was ready to lose hope, when----

"Father..."

I looked up, unmindful of my tears. There he was, my boy, my Nerva, walking toward me with dazed eyes. He was pale and looked very weak. He went into my arms instantly.

"Father..." he was moaning, as if he longed to say something. He looked terribly bothered and ill, as if he was suffering from a fever. "Father..."

"What is it that ails you my son?!" I demanded, shaking his shoulders. "What is it?!?"

I looked into his eyes. His yellow eyes had become sharp and cold---no longer carrying that sparkle and warmth it had just hours ago. Then, with horrible realization, this was not my son anymore....


-tbc-

Change had started on my boy. My Nerva, my happy child, became withdrawn from us. That look of illness never left his face, and his eyes never again did regain those warmth. He refrained from going outside, now consuming both our library and Izlude's National Library in a frightening pace.

He read as if he were possessed, snapping at anyone and anything who might disturb him as if he was a mad animal. I didn't know him anymore. His mother didn't know him anymore.

Words, which at one time flowed in abundance from his sweet lips, now became rare. Brevity had taken over his tongue, and made him all the more the stranger he was surely becoming.

I am terribly frightened. Deep in my mind something tells me that I should halt this change no matter what the cost, or else lose my son forever.

By the time he turned eleven, Nerva had fully dropped the sword. Although when I ask him politely, he would perform some techniques in front of me. His Bash and Magnum Break increased in ferocity, but there was something wrong with it. I couldn't explain, but there was something wrong with it...

"Nerva, you are eleven now." I told him one day. "Surely you know what this time means for me, and for you."

He blinked up at me, cold eyes boring into me like drills. He did not answer, except continued reading of his 389,780th book. I swallowed as I looked at him. Something was wrong....I don't know...

But then, he isn't my child anymore...

That night he was going to be inaugurated as a Swordsman. I was happy. I knew that my instincts were just haywire---surely my son would become a Knight. He had just taken a liking in books, that's all...

But then he knocked at my door. I let him in. He looked sober----why, he never smiles now...

"I want to tell you this, father." He began.

"What is it, my precious boy?" I smiled, beckoning him toward me, but he didn't come. "Come tell me..."

I saw him frown. I saw his hands clench.

"I do not want to be a Swordsman, father. I want to study in Geffen and become a Magician."

I felt pain erupt from my heart.

Nerva...?!

-tbc-

My mind buzzed, and my vision dimmed. I cannot remember what happened next. I swear I didn't have control with my body then...it seemed that hours; even years, seemed to pass after my boy said that.

He wants to become a Magician, of all jobs! Why become those sniveling, sneaking and arrogant traitors?!? What has become of you, Nerva, my pride and heir?!? Do not break my heart like this!!!

"STOP IT, TIBERIUS, YOU'LL KILL OUR SON!"

Cornelia's voice tugged me back to reality. I blinked and looked down. A most horrific sight before my eyes; Nerva, my child, a bleeding heap by my feet. My sword dropped from my hand with an ominous clang.

Cornelia quickly came forward and swept Nerva away with her. My mind reeled.

I was still in a dumbfounded trance when I cancelled everything----the inauguration ceremony, the feasting----everything which I have prepared for and hoped and dreamed for twelve years.

I didn't want to see that red-haired boy whom my wife is tending to with tears. I spent my time away from our palace. I went to Prontera and gave myself to the hopeless surrender of liquor.

I was maddened by grief and anger; dumbfounded by a foolish dream and pained by the lost hopes.

Now what will become of my lineage, the Most Noble House of Thor? My father was a Knight, and so was his father and his father's father. Everyone in our family were Swordsmen and Knights, from the nearest cousins to the farthest descendants of our ancestors who fought in the First Great Conflict thousands of years ago.

Nerva, Nerva, my son, my firstborn, why choose this? Why? What has happened to you????

I did not come back to my wife and children that night. I went home only next day, only to find a bigger crisis.

My house was quiet, as if staging a funeral. My wife was crying hysterically as she met me.

"He's gone, Tiberius! He's left! I've looked for him everywhere!"

The void in my soul increased in diameter. It now threathened to engulf everything I have ever built----my family, my name, my disposition.

I knew it was useless even if we found Nerva. He was no longer coming back after what I had done to him. He will never forgive me, even if I kneel before him and beg. Those eyes told me so.

And I cannot do anything as everything fell apart right before my eyes.


-tbc-

Years passed without my family becoming whole and happy again. Misfortune upon misfortune swept across our way, until finally Cornelia was overwhelmed by them. She died of tuberculosis.

My wife died hating me, because she knew I had gone too far by not chasing after our son and begging him to come back to us. I never had the courage to go to Geffen and bring Nerva with me.

Nerva returned for his mother's funeral. I thought we could take things into consideration, but hate still overpowered me. I sent him out. I did not want to see him again, especially now, as he wore that hideous uniform of the Magicians.

I have lost my two other sons in tragedy. Lochinvar and Claudius both became Swordsmen though not as promising as their eldest brother. And I know they too, died hating me.


Alexander, my third child, followed his brother's example. He went off to become an Acolyte and shut himself in the church rather than be with his father, a slightly mad old man.

And I've been a sad existence ever since, no family, no son, no wife.

News about my precious Nerva reached me from the mountains. He became a Wizard at the age of nineteen, and by twenty years he had earned the highest title Geffen has to offer.

He had journeyed around Midgard with Swastika, an elite party headed by the controversial Priest Isidore Crane. But he never set foot in Izlude. I saw his partymates one time, but he was not with them.

And I knew he still hated me from the bottom of his heart.

I wanted to approach my son, now a fully-grown man, and beg him to forgive me before I die and go to the hell that I deserve. But he'd never listen, I am sure, so I've never tried.

My heart ached so much I was amazed I was still alive.

He was my only family now, but still, he did not consider me as his father anymore. I can imagine his eyes, and all they show is hate. Hate directed toward me.

But it was one time that my prayers and hopes of seeing him again were answered.

I saw Nerva again...

But the Nerva I saw was screaming for his innocence, begging not to be imprisoned for life, shouting that he did not kill anyone.

The Nerva I saw again was Midgard's Most Infamous Criminal.

-tbc-

My child looked piteous. I was there in his trial. He sat there before the jury, eyes deadened, trembling at every slight gesture. He looked crazy----deranged. He kept mumbling words that nobody could understand.

"You, Nerva al'Thor of Geffen, do swear that you did not murder Isidore Crane and the members of The Honorable League of Swastika?!?"

Nerva could not answer. He just looked at the judge, mouth open, trying furiously to speak, but no voice came from his parched lips.

It was more than I could bear. All evidences were hard against him, my child. I couldn't believe it. Had he really become a murderer now?!?

He was screaming again as they chained him. The guards dragged him from the courtroom as if he were something filthy. FOr the first time in years he met my eyes.

But I couldn't look at him.


I could have helped him at that time. Showed him I was still his father. But no, I allowed them to sentence him to Reclusion Perpetua. I did not stir when they locked him in the highest point of the Arcane Tower.

I remained blind to his screams, as if he had never been my child.

I was stupid.

He had every right to hate me.

I did not have any right to be his father.

His screams haunted me at night. His deadened look and the way he tried to speak of the truth---of what had really happened to them in Byalan Islands.

But I remained indifferent.

They subjected him to a sleeping draught after attempting an escape. Still I did not do anything. I was a bastard.

It was only then, when Nerva was deep in his induced slumber, did I have the guts to face him---to visit him. I knelt down beside him and touch his hand. Perhaps I was afraid because if he were awake, he would have surely refused to give me his hands.

It pained me so much. But I knew he could feel me. He remained cold, even in this forced sleep. They did this to him because his power was too strong.

I visited him often whilst in that state. He was soon going to die....my heart told me. I didn't know when, but he would die even before I did.

And that death came when a Priestess named Wealthow Eyre lifted from him his sleep.

-tbc-

I did not see him when he awoke. I arrived in Geffen a little too late. Wealthow Eyre had already taken him with her. I asked Lothair where they were going, but he was in an anguished state and his students refused to let me see him.

I did everything in my power to know of their journey, but my Knights said their moves were unpredictable. They kept changing routes, as if knowing they were somehow being watched. That Wealthow sure is a sly woman behind her holy composure.

Days later, all the vassals including myself were summoned by Tristriam. And again, another accusation laid on my child.

Lothair said that Nerva tried to murder him.

I couldn't take it anymore. All these unfounded accusations. Stop disturbing my son anymore! Why can't you leave him at peace?! Had he lived like this ever since I threw him out of my house, his home?

If so, I am amazed. Even I would have surely surrendered under these pressures. But my Nerva, all alone, bore them all with his head raised high. He stood unflinching, ready to face them all even though he knew chances were against him. He had always been a do or die trying man then...

I begged Wealthow Eyre to tell me that my son did not do this stupidity. I begged her to tell me where he was. All I got from her,

"Nerva can take care of himself, sir, please leave us now."

My Knights took me away. I waited impatiently in Izlude, finding that the sunset took an eternity to happen.

And that sunset brought with it the gravest news in my life.

Nerva, my son, had died.


-tbc-

That death was the final blow to me. I have lost everything now----no reason for me to live. He was gone. And I didn't do anything about it...

Nerva was gone now, beyond my reach forever....

I grieved silently, not wanting to cry as they set up an empty grave for him. Wealthow told me she was terribly sorry----if only she hadn't broken her leg she could have reached him faster and then, probably, Healed him back to life...

But there was no turning back now...

He was dead...

I just couldn't bear it...

Everything in this world has deserted me now...

Everything...


-the end-